Meetings and Classes and Generally ~Formal Small Groups

I knew a student who had a hard time speaking up in our group. I found out later that it was because she took longer to digest what was said and apply it and organize her thoughts. On learning this my thought was immediately "Oh! That sounds like me!"
I'm quiet, and generally I like it that way. I like being the fly on the wall, listening, and taking my own sweet time to figure out how I apply whatever is given to myself, to the topic at hand, and to anything else I can think of.
I also give infinite excuses to justify this. I like it. I have nothing to add to the conversation. It's because I grew up rural with very few people to talk to. It's because I'm more comfortable in an asynchronous environment. While all of these might be true, they are only excuses. I have yet to find a reason for being as quiet and shy as I am.
I've gotten better over the years. When I was very little, I'd hide. Behind legs, wander off by myself, avoid human contact as much as possible. Thankfully I don't do that anymore. Or, at least I do it less now.
And I'm avoiding the subject again. I don't know why I am this way, but I really need to get over it.
Strangely enough, I have no problem getting up on a stage to present to hundreds, or presenting to small groups of peers, or of presenting at all. It's the asking questions part that I have a problem with. But I do fine one-on-one. I do better than fine one-on-one. -.- I'm so confused.
Anyway. Today I had a meeting. A meeting about something I'm very involved with and very interested in. And I came in with questions, only one of which got only partially answered. But I didn't ask any of the ones that didn't get answered. Thankfully I realized what I was doing and managed to bring myself to ask them afterwards.
Why couldn't I ask them in the quasi-formal meeting? My excuse this time is one I've favored for the last year or so. "Because it isn't relevant to the current discussion." I like this one because it's easy to leave out being fine asynchronously; I'm absolutely fine posting on a forum all of my tangential thoughts and questions because I feel like the group can ignore me if they see fit. If someone were to ignore my comments and questions in person... that's, well, rude.
This was an excuse/reason I came up with while I was in SIM. Sitting through the math-intensive... what do I call them Nick? Workshops? In any case, I should have asked a hell of a lot more questions than I did. But I didn't, because I felt like I'd be taking the discussion in directions no one else was interested in for whatever reason.
So when someone asked me "Is it too much like school?" I almost said yes. It was and it wasn't. But why? Why was it like school? It was like school because I wasn't comfortable asking questions or participating in the discussion to my full capacity or interest. And this was in a group that I was quite comfortable with. Otherwise, it was completely unlike school.
But yikes is that a handicap! If I'm not comfortable asking questions in anything but the least formal discussion or one-on-one conversation? That means no classes, no meetings, no workshops... all of these things that I otherwise enjoy regardless of topic.
Bleh. More thoughts on this, but for later I think.